It’s time for some early Monday blog-shocking honesty:
- SunWarrior protein is okay-ish.
- Kombucha is vile.
- Bean-based desserts are the bane of my existence.
- Pumpkin is fine I suppose, but I’d rather use squash or sweet potato.
- Barbara’s Puffins taste and are textured like cardboard.
…Have I revealed enough to be kicked out of the healthy-foodie-blog-world yet? No? Well how about this seasonal one for you:
- Fresh figs aren’t that great. Hand me a Pink Lady apple instead, please.
But I love Heather’s Meatless Mondays: A to Z and had to participate. So I found a solution. You know what is great?
This stuff. So, maybe you could make your own out of fresh or dried figs or something, but with only four ingredients in this jar, it’s basically what you’d make anyway. But easier. And it tastes like Fig Newton filling. Have you ever wished you could just stick a spoon into a jar of Fig Newton filling? Trader Joe’s says you can. But “Put a spoon in this jar” isn’t exactly a recipe, is it? So I took it a step further. And made it a breakfast.
High-Protein (Mostly Home-Made) (Good for You) Breakfast-Newtons
Serves: 1. Cook time: Maybe 10 minutes.
I started with a spin-off of my basic oatmeal raisin cookie brancake recipe:
- 1/3c oat bran
- 1 scoop protein powder (I used unsweetened Garden of Life Raw protein)
- 1t baking powder
- 1/3c almond milk
- 1/2t vanilla extract
- 1/4t lemon extract
If you want your crust sweet, go ahead and add some sweetener, but I love the contrast of almost-savory with the sweet fig filling. This batter will be really thick, but go ahead and add a little more liquid if you need to, depending on your protein powder. Heat a frying pan and then scoop your batter in and flatten it out, making it roughly square-ish in shape. Cook, flip, cook. This dough is wonderfully crumbly, so you may want to cut your brancake into the desired final shapes before you try to flip (I did four smaller squares for two sandwiches).
Once cooked, spread fig butter (or any fruit butter/jam/spread you want) between layers of delicious Newton-like crumbly cookie. Pick it up, or live on the fancy side and use a fork.
Any blog world staples you disagree with?
I loooove the garden of life protein powder. Seriously one of my favorites. And these little cookies sound fabulous!! I actually do love figs, but thats becase my papa had one when I was growing up, so I would literally eat a fresh fig everyday. SO DELICIOUS.
I’ve been adding to everything! I has such a great texture, bakes well, plus I can add my own flavor or sweetener as I want or don’t want. It’s definitely a favorite basic powder for me, too.
I don’t know if we can be friends anymore. 😉
Actually, when I first tried Sun Warrior I hated it… now I hate everything else. Go figure. I do bet that I can make you black bean brownies you will like. they aren’t the least big healthy though. Haha!
This looks delish – I love the bread idea! I actually prefer fresh figs to fig spreads, so I want to do this with PB and fresh fig slices. OR fig cooked into the batter? Mmmmm…
WHY didn’t I think to add PB to this? That would be amazing. Ohhh, or sunflower seed butter and figs/fruit? That would be pretty spectacular combo. And I don’t dislike Sun Warrior or anything, I just think there are comparably good products. Or way, WAY better (cough-Chocolate-Olympian-protein-cough). But then again, is it fair to compare anything chocolate to anything non-chocolate? Chocolate always wins.
I adore you, Allie…your honesty is refreshing! Never tried kombucha but it scares me! Don’t hate me but I am really not a fan of canned pumpkin. Love the fresh stuff roasted but canned pumpkin is kinda nasty to me…even when stirred in yogurt!
A lot of people like it, so I dunno, maybe it’s worth a try? But the stuff is SO expensive and I think it tastes pretty darn awful, haha. And I’m with you on the pumpkin. I just don’t get that excited about it!
I am with you kombucha scares the shiz out of me. Not a fan. I actually rarely use or consume protein powder, a little too expensive for my wallet. I have never had a fig but that stuff looks good.
You can definitely sub the protein powder with any sort of healthy grain/flour! It would probably be about 2-3T of flour instead. And mmm, the fig butter IS good. But I feel like any fruit “butter” is pretty amazing…
I haven’t tried Sun Warrior, and I love kombucha, but otherwise I agree with all of your ‘shocking’ revelations. 🙂 [I admitted on IG yesterday that I think delicata squash is better than kabocha. I thought I’d be disowned from blogland.]
That bran cake sounds like heaven. I must make one (or two or three) and slather them with deliciousness…perhaps my FROG jam? Or some Nutty Butter?
Haha, you cannot blog and speak ill of kabocha! And oh yes, these would be amazing covered in FROG! Now I want to try adding ginger to the TJ’s stuff just to see…
huh. Well I love kombucha (make my own, its way cheaper), love pumpkin, love Puffins! (I hope we can still be friends???) Fig butter does sound awesome! Too bad I don’t have a Trader Joe’s nearby.. boo. I actually never really got into figs, maybe just cause I can never find them! A fig cake sounds perfect for breakfast though!
Okay, I may not like it, but that is pretty darn awesome that you can make your own! And you could definitely make/buy any fruit butter and use that instead of the fig, it would still be delicious!
Haha I love your honesty, and I totally agree! In Australia, pumpkin is different – I think it’s similar to your version of squash (which is our version of pumpkin…confused?!). Anyway, I loooooove my (real) pumpkin but that canned stuff you guys have is NASTY. I don’t get why all the bloggers are so obsessed with pumpkin. And bean-based desserts?? Don’t even get me started!
Gah yes, kombucha is NASTY! Vinegar flavored juice, for sure. There’s even one with chia seeds in it, so you can have clumpy vinegar too! blech….
I love fig netwons! I’m like you… I had my first fig this weekend and then I had an apple right after that LOL. It was good but my fav fruit is watermelon!! Next time I go to TJ’s I’m checking out that fig butter.
I’m so with you on all of those points– I’m freaking terrified of ever trying kombucha (who would wanna chug live bacteria?!?!) and puffins taste like poop to me too heehee
This recipe on the other hand looks FAR from tasting like poop– I MUST MAKE THIS!!!! 😀
Exactly why I fell in LOVE with your blog! I love your honesty! I still do love the puffins but my husband thinks they taste like cardboard too ahha
I love when you blow the lid off “healthy foods” that you just don’t think taste good. I’m pretty sure many of us breathe a sigh of relief that they’re not the only ones.
I just think people get so caught up in what they “should” like or eat—and heck, more power to anyone who DOES like these items, just doesn’t mean I’m automatically going to, too.
Original title too! 🙂 A georgous & tasty figgy creation! Yummm!
Yea … I’m going to have to try this!
I’ve been experimenting with new jams and butters. Fig butter sounds tasty!
You are so funny! I don’t like pumpkin at all even though I like everyone else in the squash family. Not even pumpkin pie. I’m a mutant.
Oh man, I WILL make an exception for pumpkin pie…but other pumpkin items? I can take ’em or leave ’em.
I prefer dried figs over fresh figs, and I bet I would love this fig butter! Oh and I can’t bring myself to like kombucha either…
It would be pretty hard not to love this stuff, SO good! Like dried figs, but better 🙂
Haha! I love that we have the same post title! Omg, I want to make these SO BAD but I’ve kinda banned that fig spread from my house after an demolishing half the friggin jar in ONE sitting! That stuff is like total crack! Hmm, I do have some dried figs…maybe I could just warm up some of those and squish em in between some brancake! Yeah, that sounds like a winner! 😉
I’ve tried just about all of the flavors of kombucha out there and…there’s ONE that I think is good, but honestly, if I’m gonna shell out $4 on a “treat” I’d rather have fro-yo! That and I really just don’t understand the fascination with goji berries…ick! Barbara’s puffins…meh, Shredded Spoonfuls is where it’s AT! But leave my chickpea cookies and pumpkin alone!
Great minds! I mean, really, how can you NOT think Will Smith when you think figs?? And I had to hide the rest of that jar in the back of the fridge. Totally could have wiped it out in about an hour. You could definitely do the dried fig thing, don’t see why that wouldn’t be delicious.
And I’m with you–maybe I could try a bunch of different ones and find one that’s “okay,” but really? There are so many other food items I’d prefer to waste my money on 🙂
Love the post title 🙂
and the honesty too, I don’t really like pumpkin but have never tried kombucha, Sun Warrior, Puffins – or figs! There’s something about the look of normal fig rolls that turns my stomach…. I’d give yours a go though, they look great!
Allie, this looks SO GOOD!! I have some fig “stuff” in my cupboard unopened. Don’t think it’s fig butter but I should try it anyway! Just found out that Ralph’s Army Reunion will be held in Nashville next year. Too early to schedule a blogger meet-up?!?! That could be fun!!
Not at all too early! That would be GREAT! What time of year?
Usually the second weekend in September but the dates haven’t been confirmed yet. That would be SO much fun!! I’ll keep you posted!
Ooo, please do!
UGH, I thought I was the only one on Team Not Kombucha. Stuff is so nasty.
But this cake/cookie/newton looks delicious! And so cute!
I’ve never actually tried any, but bean desserts are so terrifying. As are tofu desserts. And avocado desserts. Ick.
Pumpkin is overrated in general, although I’m fine with it. And oh holy bananas, don’t get me started on the pumpkin spice latte craze….
gettin’ figgy with it, na na nana na NAA!
kombucha??? more for ME, I suppose… 😉 and I didn’t care for Sun Warrior at first (I tried vanilla), but now I LOVE it. I prefer the chocolate, but use the vanilla in baking and smoothies.
and these newtons? YES PLEASE!
YUM now if only I had a TJs for that Fig Butter!