Some say that the best way to shake things up and get out of a rut is to step outside your comfort zone. But baby? I’m always living on the edges of that thing.

Things That Are Awkward…

  • Starting your day by spilling your water bottle all over yourself and your keyboard. Time for new technology.
  • Walking face-first into a door because your brain decides to completely forget the concept of doorknobs.
  • Mentioning that you like dubstep in the middle of a conversation about Mumford & Sons. Wait, not everyone does early morning yoga to the soothing sounds of heavy drum n’ bass?
  • Calling the same guy at the gym by the wrong name three mornings in a row. I’m sorry Brad, you look like a Gary.
  • Walking a mile down the street while holding a Golden Retriever skull. There’s just no explaining that.
  • Saying “Congratulations” when your neighbor informs you that he just had gastric bypass surgery. But what IS the appropriate response?
  • Finally meeting your other neighbor because you were sprinting across your lawn, in your pajamas, yelling at his cat. Keep your felines away from my chickens.
  • Confusing your BC (Necon) with rat poison (D-Con) in what would otherwise have been a casual conversation about rodent control.

This post has nothing to do with anything except my life.