That moment when the buff guy working out next to you says “I’m impressed” when you bench 80 lbs. And then loads his own bar with 250. Although maybe it was just sweet, sarcastic revenge. Since, much like my other awkward gym-name encounter, I’ve been calling him Ryan for over a month now. And just learned his name is actually Ronald.

That moment when you realize you have a problem. And that problem is a Manager’s Special problem. As if you couldn’t figure out from Wednesday’s post that I can’t say no to cheap food.

That moment when your mom refers to “TVP” as “PCP” during a phone conversation. And then doesn’t understand why you’re laughing so hard. Yep, I’m sure the employees at Walmart could point me to where they keep the PCP…

That moment when you fail at a day of eating right. And then give up and just have “ice cream” for dinner. Legumes, I thought we could be friends if we only hung out occasionally, but apparently we’re over for good. You didn’t have to be so violent about it this week, a simple “goodbye” would have sufficed.

That moment when you Google “DIY Moose Antlers.” And then get a lesson in taxidermy. Why was I Googling DIY moose antlers? Who knows.

That moment when it’s finally Friday. And then you realize this is the first open, relaxing, unplanned, no-travel-involving weekend you’ve had in over a month. I have no idea what to do with myself! Y’know, other than cook, work out, read, and take as many naps as humanly possible.