Thank you for all the wonderful, kind and understanding comments yesterday. I still glance in my backyard, hoping I’ll see my girls bopping around. Their lives were brief, but in that brief time? They were just so damn happy to do nothing but be a chicken and be alive. And eat bread. Definitely happy to eat bread.
With that in mind–It’s nearing the end of the month, so it’s time to pause and reflect. At the beginning of this year, I set a goal of more. While January’s doing less to do more goal and February’s goal to finish more left me satisfied with my achievements, this month’s goal of being more kind to myself has been a challenge, to say the least.
My seasonal depression has been off the charts, and I haven’t felt good in a really long time. Don’t get me wrong–I love life and have enjoyed so much–but I also haven’t been me. And this month? I wasn’t so kind to myself. I started with high hopes and lofty plans, but I didn’t get very far. I was going to get outside myself, care more about the external and worry less about the internal. Instead, I got caught up in continuing to drag myself down.
So April? My goal is to be more like a chicken. Yes, you heard me.
Be More Like a Chicken.
- Do more unpredictable things on a whim. Have you ever seen a chicken plan the future obsessively down to the minute? Nope.
- Play in the dirt. I will make time to roll in the grass, scratch in the garden, soak up the sun and just flap around for no reason.
- Be more curious. My girls would fearlessly (to a fault) explore anything and everything around them. I want to, too. Time to sign up for more classes, read interesting things and see new places.
- Live in the moment. When good things are happening? I’m going to pause and appreciate it as it happens and then remember it for later. Okay, so chickens weren’t so good at that “remember for later,” but hey, I can’t be exactly like a chicken.
- Lay eggs. What was that about not being exactly like a chicken? TMI: I haven’t had a period all winter. While treating myself physically and emotionally like crap, it disappeared. I’m going to get that sucker back.
- Eat bread. Or Butterfinger Blizzards. Or a big pile of veggies. Or whatever sounds good. And I will do so without obsessing and after getting that goddamn tracker app off my phone. How did it sneak back on there??
Most importantly, I’m going to get back on the chicken wagon. My dad is going to come visit in a few weeks, we’re going to build a bigger, secure pen, and I’m going to pick up a few more ladies. There’s no replacing these chickens, but there’s always moving forward.
If you could be any animal, which would you choose and why? I promise this isn’t the intro to a cheesy dating game…or is it?