I’ve had the opportunity to spend the past two weekends in my old stomping grounds in the country–and get my extra-Tennessee on. I sometimes forget my roots, what with living in a city now and all. So what do you do when you’re a country gal?
You dig sweet potatoes.
Barefoot. And get a sunburn in the process. That bad Mama-jama in the middle? Weighs 54 oz. That’s enough sweet potato in one sweet potato for two weeks of sweet potato. Sweet potato.
You hide when someone knocks on the door.
Because you don’t feel like putting on pants. (Okay, the really Southern thing would be to answer the door pantless, but remember, I do live in the city most of the time.) (Although I’ll also note that I hid in a closet full of pants.)
You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of gunshots.
And wake up to find this poor baby wandering right outside your window.
You buy a lot of collard greens.
And you eat those collard greens. (1) 4lbs of collard greens (they were on sale, okay??) (2) poached egg over steamed collards (thanks to the lovely Lindsay for the idea) (3) homemade wasabi-pepper vegan “chicken” over collards and (4) collards with “cheesy” squash.
And make sure you enjoy them with a glass of iced tea at your side–although I showed my city-fication again and drank unsweetened tea. (The Southern-life travesty!)
You get hit on at the gym.
By the dad of someone who was in your high school class. After he first establishes he is the dad of someone who was in your high school class.
Are you proud of your roots?
What the heck do I do with my remaining 3.75lbs of collard greens??
ForgottenBeast 
Hahah that’s too funny, especially about the gym dad! Although I’ve never tried it myself, what about making collars green ‘chips’? I love kale chips so hopefully the result is similar! And heck yeah I am proud to be Indian…even though my Hindi needs some (read: a lot of) polishing!!
Unfortunately these came shredded, because I have a feeling collard chips would be epic. Hmm, but maybe the shredded would still chip-ify?
I bet they would still chip-ify!
Mmmmm sweet taters. You should make a breakfast hash with those, the collards and some eggs. And maybe some tempeh bacon. Yep, definitely the tempeh bacon.
Ohh, I like how you think! Sweet potato hash is amazing. Eggs, collard, sweet potato hashed up and served with a whop-ton of ketchup? And bacon, yes, lots of “bacon.”
ha this makes me laugh because I went from growing up in Boston to going to college in the south. such a huge culture shock. walmart was like ‘the thing’ to do, everyone went hunting and they served okra way too much in the dining hall. I never tried it, totally freaked me out. plus, when I said you guys I got laughed at – i still have yet to say y’all
All my extended family lives in the North–it’s so much fun when we get together. I make fun of their accents, they make fun of mine, and we argue about whether cornbread should be sweet or not ;D
But seriously, okra is amazing, you’ve got to try it!
LOL! That last one is classic. Southern men are creepy. Actually, all men are potentially creepy.
Collards… if they were whole I’d say use them as wraps. Spicy collards? Collard corn bread (a healthy-fied version, obv)… maybe a collard pizza crust?
Yeah, unfortunately it’s not limited to the South. But we do seem to get a higher concentration of ’em.
And hooo buddy, just did a google search based off your collard corn bread suggestion and found this: http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/collard-bread/ffb7347f-2154-4cee-8950-8e1a58d26777 (proving my Southern-ness further), and I have GOT to find a way to make this so I can eat it–shouldn’t be too hard!
Oh lord that looks good. That’s a lot of cheese to replace… but I have full confidence in you. 🙂
Looks like a good weekend mostly!
WOW sweet potato! reminds me of the zucchini my grandpa z used to grow, they would be bigger than Hansel, my childhood dachshund! Grandpa Z was also from the south…
🙂
I think giant vegetables are just a Southern thang 🙂
Ohhh I want to dig some sweet potatoes! And eat some collared greens! That meals looks delicious.
We spend New Years in Kentucky with husband’s family and they always make collard greens with fresh salsa and fried corn cakes. The collards are supposed to look like dolla billz and make us rich all year 😛
Collards and salsa? I happen to have both those things! And now I must eat them together, thanks for the idea! And if that’s true? After 4lbs of collards I better get a raise 😉
I have GOT to get some sweet potatoes, I keep forgetting! I just love them! While in Atlanta, the servers kept trying to give me sweet tea. I’ve tried it before and it’s just TOO sweet for me. Guess I can’t be Southern?
I can’t handle the sweet, either. But oh my gosh, I have one coworker that ADDS sugar to her sweet tea whenever we go out to eat. It makes my teeth hurt just watching her drink it…
ahh hale to the collard greens and egg! WOOT! So easy too, right?!
No kidding! It took all of five minutes, and that included “how to poach an egg” research time ;D
This was a great start to my day, so funny. I grew up in a bad part of town and although I am not proud of it, it toughened me up and made me realize that with my own kids, I do not want them raised in the hood like I was.
There is nothing wrong with growing up in a rough area–it sounds like it really made you who are are, and helped you figure out how you want to raise your kids!
I started singing, “If you’re Southern and you know it, clap your hands…”
Your life is very similar to the small town I grew up in Washington. Minus the abundance of collard greens and sun. It’s weird how that works. I used to hide under the kitchen table vs. the closet.
And sometimes I still fall asleep to the sounds of gunshots. Oh city life.
Haha, I totally read it to the tune of “I’m Sexy and I Know It…”
Unfortunately the kitchen table is surrounded by a lot of mirrors. Otherwise, totally legit option.
BAHAHAHA!!!! I literally just cracked up out loud when I read the part about putting on pants and “You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of gunshots.” 😀 SOUTHERN GALS UNITE!!
Love the part about not wanting to put on pants when someone knocks. Ha!
That Dad, really? So bizarre. And creepy!
I never got the hang of sweetened tea, prob cause I’m not a southern girl! That’s weird about the Dad at the gym. Creepy!
OMG! The gym dad!! Ahhhh how mortifying!!!
Gym dad = cray cray.
Sweet potato.
Remains you should juice that will get rid of them and will be about 2 juices haha! OMG Gym Dad? hahaha you crack me up that is hilarious! Love and Shine CourtStar
What a fun post Allie! Especially love the pics with the giant potatoes and your feet. (I assume they’re giant, and you don’t have “mini feet”. 🙂 Have a great day.
Im getting so excited for sweet potato season. I swear I lived off of them last fall haha
I’m Southern and happy for it. 🙂 I can’t say I’ve ever dug my own sweet potatoes, but they are on sale right now at the grocery store. 79 cents/lb for local produce – heck yea!
hahahahahahha! A lovely & funny post! 🙂
ahaha I can’t stop laughing at that gym dad story! Nothing like small country towns:) Maybe it’d be safest to do non-gym workouts when you’re home… 🙂
The one thing that makes me Southern after living in North Carolina for 6 years is the sweet potatoes. I also love fluffy biscuits! I never liked the sweet tea or collard greens though.
And I always get crept out when people knock on my door…