It is completely doable, feasible and healthy to be on a vegan diet long-term. It is not doable, feasible or healthy for me, at this time.
(Breakfast: Three coconut-oil fried eggs, spinach.)
I’m eating meat now. I have spent over 8 years of my life as a vegetarian/vegan, and I have been both incredibly healthy and incredibly unhealthy during that time. And recently? I have been beyond unhealthy. I would like to say that the switch back to meat was a hard decision–but it wasn’t. Something needed to change.
Vegetarian, high protein, timing, scheduling, macros–All I was thinking about was food and rules. And once I got started on rules? I just keep making more and more of them, whittling my food down into boring bowls of this-is-safe (but by “safe” I don’t mean balanced, nutritious or good calorie-rich).
(Lunch: Baked turkey-balls, sweet potato and broccoli.)
So I’m forgetting the rules. I (intentionally) broke my food/kitchen scale and threw it in the trash. I crumpled up my nutrition plan and deleted my food tracking app. I threw out every fake-sugar-containing product in my house. It wasn’t easy, and I still feel a little panicky when I think about it–which only reinforces how much those things needed to happen.
Along with the switch to meat, I’m taking it back to three simple meals rather than seven rule-filled meals. I’m focusing ingredients rather than recipes, and I’m cooking real, whole foods that I eat slowly and take the time to enjoy. I am no longer reading or fiddling with my phone during meals. Instead, I’m tasting.
(Dinner: Broiled tilapia, broccoli and half an avocado.)
Am I getting enough protein, the right ratios, correct portion sizes? Will this set back my figure competition goal? Fuck it, I’m lifting heavy and eating good food, so I will get stronger. That’s just how these things work. It’s just going to be on my terms now. Food will add enjoyment, not stress and obsessiveness.
Not that I’ve been perfect in any of these goals. I slip back into panic, I catch myself mentally calculating calories and protein content, I start plotting meals days in advance. But I’m trying not to worry about even that. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and stressing about stressing about food is just as bad as stressing about food.
(Snacks: Post-workout Greek yogurt; hazelnuts and cranberries; dark chocolate squares.)
Overall I feel so much better. I have more energy and excitement about life and the gym, my skin has stopped sloughing off and constantly hurting (I felt like a molting lizard for awhile) and I actually have solid poop (TMI? Deal with it.). Is it the food, the sudden decrease in stress, the result of me being kinder to myself? All of the above? I don’t know, but if I feel this much better just one week in? Well, I can live with that.
Disclaimer: Lest this seem like I’m suddenly some paragon of whole-foods perfection, this sn’t about me only eating whole, good food, and it is a glimpse at one day of admittedly healthy eating, not a picture of everything I eat. It’s about thinking less (or not at all) about rules and more about taste, texture, quality and enjoyment.
ForgottenBeast 
Haha I like your disclaimer. A lot of times I don’t post the tacos/wine/chocolate that I eat and then I get people being like “I think you have an eating disorder.” hah, if only they knew! It’s all about balance! 🙂
Right? I mean, I eat pretty well during the week, but I hate when it seems like I never chow down on an entire bag of granola, stick a spoon repeatedly into a peanut butter jar or go out with the girls and have a few too many 😉
HOnestly LOVE this post Allie…more power to you and it’s just given me another reason why I have so much respect for you! Amen to food having to be enjoyed…various rules are imposed on us in life and why should something which is a huge source of pleasure (i.e. food) add to that stress- no thank you! “Eat it, enjoy it and move on” has definitely become a motto of mine lately and I couldn’t be happier!
Your motto is what I’m working on achieving! I can’t believe how unhappy/stressed I was letting food rules make me–I mean, I LOVE food, so clearly something was wrong!
I meant to ask- how did you enjoy meat after going without it??
It’s been really hit-or-miss. Tilapia has been the star so far–delicious, crispy outside, flaky inside. The turkey balls are not my cup of tea, there’s something about the “meat” flavor that gets to me, but I made some slow-cooker Jerk chicken that was fantastic in texture and taste. I think it’s just going to be a process of rediscovering what I do and don’t like!
Idk why but reading about you throwing away all your scale and rules n’ stuff, is SO refreshing. I know exactly what you mean about change. Sometimes you just need to make a big change! Also, I totally don’t know how people can be vegetarian and vegan. Maybe I’m just a baby, but daaayyyuuum is it hard. I’ve tried in the past and I literally last for a couple days before I break down.
P.S. I laughed out loud at your tmi moment and almost woke up my boyfriend… oops.
I managed the vege/vegan thing for 8 years and found it easy to do at home but challenging when it comes to eating out/eating socially. And it definitely became a psychological/rules problem more often than I admitted.
And haha, I mean, it’s been a fabulous benefit, so I just had to share ;D
gosh I love tilapia, one of my favorites. I have started eating meat this year and I notice a huge difference in energy and overall stomach digestion.
I can definitely see how the constant scrutinizing and planning the right ratios on a plant based diet could be too much. In a time where I see far too many people doing exactly that, and restricting WAY too much (and then working out too much with too little fuel), it is extremely refreshing to see your approach. I always appreciate your honesty and attitude.
Where do you buy meat from now? I definitely have developed issues with being able to eat meat from most places. Even dairy! It’s so expensive to buy good stuff, so I don’t eat it often but I’ve started buying some fish to have a few times a week, and I do buy quality dairy for every now and then as well.
I totally get where you’re coming from! Once again I feel like I could have written this post 🙂
Everything meat-wise has come from Trader Joe’s so far (except tilapia from Costco–maybe not the most ethical source, but not the worst either, and their tilapia is fantastic). My grocery budget is definitely going up (blogging about that next week, haha), but is still pretty reasonable while being able to get hormone & antibiotic free/cage-free/organic options.
We don’t have TJ, but I buy from Waitrose (my fav!) and Whole Foods when I need meat.
I’ve never heard of Waitrose (England-only chain?), but I need to check out Whole Foods, I’m just scared of the prices! I have to ease my way into this whole paying-for-meat thing…
Yeah, sadly Waitrose isn’t in the US! It’s basically just another high-end grocery store, but I LOVE IT.
Great post! I was going through the same thing, vegan for three years and on/off super healthy to my hair falling out and unable to lose body fat/gain muscle. Now I eat meat and like you I feel more nourished and know I am getting what I need. The good thing is because of going veg I have a craving for vegetables and am creative with them where as before I hated them! I used to write down every grain of food I ate and it drove me up the wall. Now my body is gaining muscle burning fat and I don’t even have to think about it! Sending you love + a great day! Love + Shine Courtstar
Good for you!! Let me say it again. Good for you!!
By the way, non solid BM’s, whether TMI or not, isn’t right, so a change was most definitely in order. I’m super impressed you tossed everything, and if you need any support, I’m here for you.
I was a little nervous to hit publish on today’s post, not because I’m worried about the whole too many calories out and not enough in that seem to plague some HLB’s, but quite the opposite really. I eat eggs (gasp) and cheese (double gasp) and sometimes sweets (oh, the horror). If I’m eating chemical free, whole foods (whether they are meat or plant based), I’m quite content to shove them in my mouth, and the little bit of tracking I did recently just reinterates my personal beliefs that counting your food is no way to live. And not necessarly a good way to lose weight either. Fight the power. Down with the man.
Yes! I want to strangle the whole concept of calories and macros right now. How ’bout we all just eat good food and leave room for treats? Seems so easy when it’s put like that…darn real life, not being as simple as theories.
Love it, Allie!! Good for you. I’m so proud of you for taking the steps to do what’s right for YOU. Your health is soooo much more important. Keep at it, and it will continue to become more and more natural to you. The couple of meals you posted here both look fantastic!!
YES! I love this!! TEAM ALLIE!! You do what you want and you will rock it. Way. To. Go. !!! YAY you yaaayayyyyy!!!!
Honesty is the best policy! 🙂 I hope this helps you to take the pressure of yourself and enjoy food again – food has always been fun for me and I would hate for it to become a chore.
Thanks Heather! Food becoming work was when I realized I had to change–Food and cooking are some of my favorite things!
This is exciting! I always love when bloggers embrace a healthier approach and ditch the food scales. I can definitely relate to what you’re going through – I used to be vegetarian myself until a few years ago. Eating three times a day instead of seven is SO much better. It’s freeing to not be obsessing over food all the time, and you learn pretty quickly if your meals are truly satisfying.
Thanks Tara! Yeah, I’ve always been terrible at “intuitive eating,” but I think I’m getting a grasp on how much I want to eat/how much I need to get me happily to the next meal. Overall just SO much less stressful, multiple stumbles/figuring-things-outs aside.
I. Fucking. Love. You.
Honestly, I wondered how you were doing it with it all. It seemed so…overwhelming. Eating shouldn’t be such a damn chore. I was reading this yesterday, coincidentally: http://blog.shareitfitness.com/2013/how-often-you-should-eat/#.UTeHEDfvZ8E
I’ve counted calories twice in my life, for longer periods of time, and each time I had to quit because I was becoming so overwhelmingly neurotic. I just can’t deal with it anymore. I try to eat as healthy as I can most of the time. I mean, that’s why i go to the gym. I like to eat. I like to eat a lot. I need to knock off the dairy thing again because my face currently looks like a pizza, but it’s not truly effecting my health. Vanity is a dangerous thing. 😉
I look forward to your food posts with even more intensity. You can feel your relief oozing from the screen. So proud of you.
And I love YOU! Ugh, if only I’d had the insight to realize how neurotic I’d become MONTHS ago, but yes, I feel like a ton of weight has been moved off of my mind/body. Slowly getting more excited about/interested in food again. And oh man, if it came down to favorite foods vs. vanity? That’s a hard choice to make…
It always takes time. You weren’t ready to come to terms with it. Now you’ve arrived, and now you have a whole world of food in front of you. I bet it amps you up and reinvigorating you for your training, too!
Good for you for being so honest with yourself!! I purposely have never labelled myself as a vegetarian/vegan/etc because there are times when I crave days of vegan eating, and times when I can’t resist a sushi feast!
Yay for food and for meat! Get some lamb… mmmm… Mary won’t mind. 😉
Thank you for your honest. You’re my hero and one of my most favoritest bloggers ever.
ps – Check yr inbox 🙂
NIIICEEE! I love this post and I’m really happy for you. I love how honest and blunt you always are. You just put everything out there and that’s amazing to me. Way to take the plunge and change things up!
Thanks Allie! I never want to represent life as being easy/simple/always on track when it isn’t, we all need to change things up, rethink plans and make new goals from time to time (except those crazy people who seem to get it right the first time, every time–how??)
I had sweet potatoes and broccoli too for my WIAW. It was fabulous!
I go through periods of no meat/ meat, and I have to say I feel your attitude is very healthy. Counting calories,grams, whatever is for the birds. I did it for a few weeks years ago and I wanted to die, it takes the joy right out of life.
Your body if you listen will tell you what it needs. It seems you’re listening 🙂
Too true–tracking takes the enjoyment out of eating. I’m working on the listening! Getting there 🙂
I need to try coconut oil for cooking eggs. Sounds delicious.
I love this so much. I recently started to incorporate more meat into my diet and it has been good for me. One of the best things I ever did was cut out the fake food and embrace real, whole food. In my opinion, food should be surrounded by excess though or stress, it is meant to be enjoyed!
Exactly! Real food tastes better, makes me feel better and is just plain enjoyable! (As long as there’s a little wiggle room for the occasional junky treat 😉 )
Awesome post! I actually wrote about eating meat again too in this week’s WIAW. I have never been vegetarian or vegan, but for a few years I lived with a vegetarian who made me feel really bad about not following that diet, so I tried really hard to make it work in order to keep the peace. I said it was for me and not them but deep down I knew better. Stressing out at meals was not worth it, and my body was not happy. Once I started eating more according to my own needs & wants, I felt so much better.
Veggie was always entirely my choice–but it turns out it may not be my healthy body or mind’s choice. I’ll always be open to trying it again, but right now? Yup, meat/fish is meeting those personal needs/wants. So glad to hear you broke out of the mold others set for you! Nutrition and diet is so personal, it’s something you have to develop/discover for yourself!
So proud of you Allie!! Going back to just eating intuitively is hard, but so freeing!! We all should learn to just ‘enjoy’ our meals. I think people would be amazed at how much of a difference it makes when you actually taste your food instead of mindlessly shoveling it in! Plus, meat is YUMMY!!! You rock girl! xo
Hell yeah…HELL YEAH!! Seriously, you have no idea how much I can relate to this post girl…and I really needed to read this right now! I’ve felt things “a-brewing” lately…perceptions changing…the inner “rebel” fighting for her way out. I don’t know how I let it happen, but all of a sudden, I have all these “rules”…Why? Where did they come from? Was I not able to JUST EAT and feel satisfied BEFORE these rules? I think NOT! Changes are on the horizon…I can feel it! Thank you for this!
Let that rebel free! But seriously, if you want to chat about any of it, send me a text/e-mail–This “rule” business gets out of hand FAST, ugh.
It’s good that you know what your body needs, Allie. It’s not about rules for me. I stay vegetarian because I’ve stayed healthy and kept my weight under control this way. It’s more important that you are healthy than that you have a label.
Having had a similar type of revelation with calorie counting, and the way that something healthy can turn into something completely opposite, I love this post. I relate so much to it, and although I’m not back eating meat, I have been testing the waters with fish (pun sort of intended) and eggs (although I fear those might have caused a tragic stomach episode). It is a long journey, and I have had some setbacks, but for the most part food is already more fun, eating is easier, and I actually think I somehow eat a MORE balanced diet than I did before. Weird how all that happens. Anyways, if you need support, we can lean on each other. 🙂
Oh wow, I’m not sure how I missed this post 0.0 I think that humans beings were meant to eat meat, but in small quantities. If not being vegan/vegetarian makes you feel better then go with it. Yeah, there was once upon a time when I tracked calories but now I’ve stopped. You know what… I still fit into my pants but I just have less things to worry about 😀